Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
