i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
