her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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