just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
