what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
