I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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