What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
