I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
