Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
