I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
