I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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