the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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