she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
