i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
