You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're like the curious george of whores
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
