Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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