Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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