I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
