lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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