we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
