you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
