Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
