don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
