yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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