if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
