i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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