Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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