I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
