he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
