Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
