Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize