So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
