I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
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