he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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