My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
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