Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
