I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
