Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
