Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
