and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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