Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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