dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
