Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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