it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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