scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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