it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
