No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize