SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
