I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
