Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
