That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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