Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
