What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize
