There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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