Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
