I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
