I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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