if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
