i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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