My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
