were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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