you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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