Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
