Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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