He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
