I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
